Thoughts: Matters In Question

Wednesday, December 10, 2014
When it comes to dating and being in a relationship, there are a lot of issues that both men and women encounter and it's obviously just part of it. Sometimes, it's even hard to distinguish who is right or wrong in an argument/fight. What are the normal issues that couples encounter?

Well, I'm no relationship expert. I don't know. But I decided to write an entry about the shallow issues that couples go through.

MEN's Issues

1. Monthly menstruation 

Menstruation is the periodic discharge of blood and mucosal tissue from the inner lining of the uterus through the vagina. This cyclic discharge is seen in females of certain mammalian species (including humans). It begins with the onset of menarche at or before sexual maturity and stops at or near menopause (commonly considered the end of a female's productive life). The periodicity of menstruation gives rise to commonly used euphemisms such as "period" and "monthly".

Most men, if not all, have issues with their girl's monthly period. I know, it's annoying. I know, I've been there. Lol! It's really hard to explain to guys how painful, annoying, irritating and hard it is to have menstruation since, well, they don't have a uterus and don't have a vagina (don't worry, we know you have balls. But you don't get kicked in the nuts monthly, so this argument is invalid).

To make life easier, maybe guys should just imagine how hard, annoying, awkward, and irritating it is when there's blood flowing out a girl's vagina all day long. It's like peeing all day, but with an enormous amount of pain. I've got 3 tips for you guys:
  • Be patient. A girl, no matter how "mature" she can be, is extra sensitive during her period. 
  • Be understanding. A girl can suddenly act like she has all the problems in the world but in reality, she's doing just fine. It's just the hormones; deal with it.
  • Give her food. There is a huge chance her appetite will grow before and during her period, so just give her an ice cream bucket. 

2. Insecurity: Other women (models, porn stars, celebrities, and most importantly, the EX)

© Google Images
I recently found out about how a girl could react to their guys checking out other women on Facebook, Instagram, Google and the likes. Stalking the ex is a different story.

Boys, you can't really blame us. If we ever catch you looking at pages with images of sexy, beautiful and perfect women, we will really lose our minds. These women: models, porn stars, and celebrities are perfect. They're not even human. They have the most beautiful eyes, long and straight legs, perfect hair, big boobs, small waists, huge ass, flat stomach with abs, and the perfect skin. Knowing that a guy is looking at such images (which is perfectly normal, I get it) is somehow an insult to most girls since normal human beings (such as myself) are flawed. We have huge arms, cellulites, big bellies, the list could just go on and on. We know we can never be that girl. It makes us feel like you look at these girls because of our imperfections.

Now, the ex. Well, a girl's mind is a very complicated mind. We know that things are over between you and your ex, but we still get jealous over them probably because of the fact that at one point in time, you liked/loved them. Again, why? Because we are insecure. We ask ourselves a lot of questions. "Is she prettier than me?", "Was she good in bed?", "Did his parents like her?" -- those things. 

My advice to men:

Just let her win the argument. Tell her what she wants to hear, but remain honest. As for the ex issue, remind her that if your ex was better, then you should have stayed with her instead. Give her the assurance that everything is over between you and your ex.

3. A girl's inability to honestly say what she feels.

This can be of different things: where to eat, to attend a party or not, answer the question "are you mad", or even allowing their boyfriends to go out. Girls, get your shit together. If you want your boyfriend to be honest with his feelings, you better do the same.

I've heard a lot of stories about this and it's really funny how deciding where to eat has become an issue to some couples. Girls, especially those who are pregnant or on their periods are fickle-minded when it comes to what they want to eat and it becomes really annoying for the guys...especially when hungry. As for the going out part, I remember allowing my ex to go to a bar with his friends and actually just piss him off the whole night. I don't know why I did it, but I know it's super ridiculous. I guess I should have just slept through the night or have kept myself busy with something.

Women's Issues

1. Video/Computer Games

Okay, so I've been here. I know how annoying it is to have to wait for your boyfriend to finish a video game. Then maturity hit.

Girls, we are all familiar with the line "boys and their toys". Just let them be. If you want to win the Best Girlfriend Award, let him play with his friends. Consider this as your spa or shopping date with your girlfriends. Boys need their time alone with their games. I don't know, but I think it gives them pride. If you're that cool, try to learn the game and play it with him. Don't suck at it though, you'll give him a headache if you suck.

© Photospin

2. BNO: Boys' Night Out

Okay, so I am also guilty of this. I wasn't a perfect girlfriend. But then I came to realize that not only does he need it, but that I also need it.

You have your girlfriends and he has his friends. If you need alone time with your girls - go on a spa, shopping, lunch out, tea time, salon day, sleepovers, or movie dates, he needs his time with his friends too. Don't take that away from him. 

The thing is, I think most girls have a hard time letting their guys go out because BNOs usually include alcohol. They may go out to bars or clubs and hang out with moderate to huge amount of alcohol and this is when a girl starts to have ludicrous thoughts. I guess most girls cannot move on from the fact that there is a bigger chance the guy will cheat when he's out wit his friends. Why? Let's say there's a group of 5 guys out in a bar. 3 of them are in a relationship, and 2 are single. The 2 single men might like someone from another table, and ask their friends to help them or start a small talk with the girls on the other table. Being "friends", of course they'll talk to the girls too. Then the 2 single men could tease the 3 other guys. I think it gives a guy some sort of pride to know that there is another girl interested in them. I think it makes them feel handsome. Most girls are afraid to trust because of many reasons. They have probably been cheated on before, or their girlfriend has gone through a bad relationship wherein her ex slept with the whole of Makati. You don't know.

As time has passed, especially at the present, I have come to understand how a couple still need time alone. I also learned that not all men have the tendency to cheat. Yes, guys can be one hell of a flirt when they're single, but once they find that girl, they become well behaved. Ladies, if your guy wants to go out with his friends, I think it's better if you let him go without a fight and mean it when you say "have fun" because it will make your men love you even more and feel like they're lucky to have someone who understands his needs. With this, you will also spare yourself of the lies they could actually commit if you become too controlling. 

3. Indifference

Just like our periods, we know that there are days when a guy simply acts indifferent. I'm not saying that they are indeed indifferent, but there are really days where a guy is "not in the mood" to show much affection to their girls or they simply fail to notice a girl's effort to make them smile.

One of the most common "indifferent" issues is how a girl goes to the salon, has her hair and nails done, shop for a new dress to wear for their monthsary date, and a guy fails to notice it, or say something about it. Guys who are reprimanded of this would usually tell their girls that they like their girlfriends more without makeup. Then again, explain why you keep on looking at those perfect girls on the internet. You can't blame a girl for putting up too much makeup for a date when your definition of beautiful and hot is Bar Refaeli or Megan Fox or Sasha Gray. We just really want to impress you.

Men and women of the Earth, we all have issues. Those issues I've written above aren't everything and may not be applicable to you, but they are to some/most people. They are the shallow ones, if I must say. I wrote this entry to remind you that there are bigger problems in this world. Death, poverty, corruption. I could go on and on. I know that emotional baggage is such a heavy one to carry everyday, but it's something you can control as long as you keep your eyes and mind open. For you to lose these things that hurt you, you must be able to understand the nature of your partner, and most of all accept that he/she is as flawed as you are. 

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