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Personal: The Season to be Jolly

Friday, December 26, 2014
I basically had four Christmas celebrations for 2014. There could have been more, but I guess I set my priorities straight. Each celebration had its own special something; so I cannot agree more with the popular line, "tis the season to be jolly".

1. Christmas Party with them college ladies.

 I really missed them. I can honestly say that I've missed a lot of good times way back in college for some absurd reasons that's why I somehow find myself trying my best to catch up with everybody. All the girls I got to be with during this night reminded me so much of how having fun, smart, and good friends in college has helped me become a better student. Seeing them successful in their careers inspired me to do better on my own. 

2. Christmas Lunch with my dad's side 

TGI Friday's, Fairview Terraces
It's always nice to know that you are close to your family - both your mom and dad's sides. Although I rarely see them before, I'm happy we all make an effort to see each other more often. My dad has 9 other siblings. Two of them live in Butuan, one in Canada, one in the US, two in Australia, one in Cavite, and the rest are in Manila. It's really, really hard to get them all together. The last time I saw them complete was last 2012. A quick lunch with this bisaya bloodline has been great.

3. Christmas Party with my favorite people

I admit: I hate seeing "my favorite people" or "my favorite man" everywhere, but I can't help it. They really are my favorite people. I enjoy each meeting with them, and I can never have enough. For 8 years now, I guess 2014 was the first year we actually took the exchange gift part seriously. I got what I wanted! There's always a reward for putting what you want on the wishlist when asked to do so.

4. Christmas Eve with the love(s) of my life.

Ever since my first Christmas, there was only one Christmas (2005) that I didn't spend with them because we attended a wedding in LA therefore we spent Christmas in America too. Nevertheless, all my Christmas Evenings were spent with this bunch and it was always fun. I'm not saying it's fun because it would be weird for me to say it wasn't, but I'm saying it because it really was. Growing up, I get excited during the Christmas season because I was expecting gifts from everybody. Turning from a kid to a girl to a young lady and now a young woman, my Christmas expectations have changed. Sure, I won't lie. I still expect gifts. But now, during this season, I look forward to spending the holidays with the people that matter - the people I love dearly.

As far as I can remember, we've always had themes for Christmas. When I was a kid, it used to be just wearing one color such as red, brown, green, whatever. Then it became one color per family. Last year, we decided to step it up a notch. 2013's theme was a Rockstar Christmas. Early December 2014, I was thinking of a theme but was unsuccessful since I really liked the previous one. Then my aunt came up with a Western Christmas theme. I love how everybody took it seriously. 2014's Western Christmas Party was a blast.

5 Things I Don't Regret

Thursday, December 18, 2014
© Photo from Google; post processed at Photoshop

Most people I come across recently have the "awww" expressions on their faces whenever they ask about the ex. I mean, people, why? 

Most people would say two things: I've wasted my six years, or I wasted my 6-year relationship. Yes people, I get it. I understand where you are all coming from. But let me show you things on my perspective.

1. I don't regret being in a long-term relationship with the wrong person
© tumblr
Never regret anything because at one time, it was exactly what you wanted.
 Yes, and why would I regret something I know would teach me all the lessons I need to learn? The things I learned throughout the relationship are things I won't read on any book, no friend could ever tell, and no parent could ever teach. Experience is always the best teacher and I wouldn't be who I am now if it wasn't for all those things. I came to realize that my past relationships had to happen so I could prepare myself to be the best girlfriend, fiance, and wife to the right guy.

2. I don't regret being immature at point in time

© Photo from Google; post processed at Photoshop
Lol. First of all, we were all immature once. With regards to my previous post, yes, I was the girlfriend who would let the boyfriend go on a night out and piss him off. There were even a lot of nights where I wouldn't let him go - which would lead to sneaking out. In other words, lies. 

Along with the immaturity of not understanding that we were 18 and in college, I got jealous of every single girl he meets. I know, why? I don't know. Maybe because I didn't know them at first and just like any other teenage girlfriend, I had this stupid thought in my head where all other girls want my (ex) boyfriend. 

3. I don't regret going back even after being cheated on

© Photo from tumblr; post processed at Photoshop

Yes, there was infidelity involved. It was painful, I'm telling you. It hit my self-esteem so bad. It made me question my worth. It made me question myself. Giving the relationship one more chance was a very tough call for me given that my family and friends were against it. Well, in the name of whatever, I gave it a go. To be honest, the first few months were okay, but we were only human. It wasn't all that magical. As time passed, I thought I had gained back my self-esteem and worth. Well, I was wrong.

4. I don't regret trusting my instincts

© Photo from tumblr; post processed at Photoshop

In relation to my second I-don't-regret entry, I think my instincts were one of the most helpful things in the world. I always felt there was something wrong somewhere. Maybe it took me awhile to listen to my instincts, but they were always right. I don't regret the nights we would fight about something I just felt but don't really have proof. I don't regret hating a girl I don't know and after a few weeks, months, even years, would turn out to be a third party.

5. I don't regret having my heart broken

Breakups are never easy. Whether you're serious or just playing, it's never easy. In a player's point of view, it's hard to breakup with your partner especially if you know s/he is attached to you. In a serious relationship, it's hard to handle breakups especially if you've given your whole self - your thoughts, your past, your everything. But not having to go through a breakup, in my opinion, would be very sad because you wouldn't know the feeling of leaving a person or being left by a person. That sounds absurd, I know. Why would you want to know that feeling in the first place?

Letting people into my life has always been easy. I am generally a nice & friendly person. I'm pretty confident to say that I welcome friendship as soon as I meet somebody I know I have similarities with. Removing people off my life on the other hand is a very difficult thing for me. I'm not the type of person who could easily just say, "okay, you're out. Leave me alone". Nope, that just ain't me. Before I let go of you, I would ask myself again and again if I could still fight for a space for you in my life. When I have come to the point where even the smallest space to be given to you would be choking my life, then you're good to go.
I am happy I have experienced losing a person I spent a big part of my life with. I'm not making it sound like it's an easy thing to go through, but I want to say that it opened my eyes to the reality that it is inevitable to lose someone but that it is also inevitable to get back up, be happy, and move on. It's very easy to say, "I wish it didn't happen", but I'm glad it did. 

Having dated other people, I've grown more cautious of the things that should and shouldn't happen in a relationship. Opening up to another person was a little bit challenging for me, but finding that person who does not disregard my past but understands more than I can ever imagine is definitely what I need.

Experiencing these things first hand, I know now what I want for myself and my future relationship. My understanding for the needs of my boyfriend/husband has broadened and I'm praying that I become a better girlfriend in the future. I have come to understand the need for a "holiday" so I could have time for myself, my family, and my friends, while he could also have the time for himself. I would usually think that having time apart could lead into cheating... but then again, not all men are the same. I know, and I have faith that there is someone who can and will love me faithfully; and most of all, treat me the way I know I deserve.

© Quote from Google, created this at Photoshop
© Quote from Google, created this at Photoshop

Thoughts: Matters In Question

Wednesday, December 10, 2014
When it comes to dating and being in a relationship, there are a lot of issues that both men and women encounter and it's obviously just part of it. Sometimes, it's even hard to distinguish who is right or wrong in an argument/fight. What are the normal issues that couples encounter?

Well, I'm no relationship expert. I don't know. But I decided to write an entry about the shallow issues that couples go through.

MEN's Issues

1. Monthly menstruation 

Menstruation is the periodic discharge of blood and mucosal tissue from the inner lining of the uterus through the vagina. This cyclic discharge is seen in females of certain mammalian species (including humans). It begins with the onset of menarche at or before sexual maturity and stops at or near menopause (commonly considered the end of a female's productive life). The periodicity of menstruation gives rise to commonly used euphemisms such as "period" and "monthly".

Most men, if not all, have issues with their girl's monthly period. I know, it's annoying. I know, I've been there. Lol! It's really hard to explain to guys how painful, annoying, irritating and hard it is to have menstruation since, well, they don't have a uterus and don't have a vagina (don't worry, we know you have balls. But you don't get kicked in the nuts monthly, so this argument is invalid).

To make life easier, maybe guys should just imagine how hard, annoying, awkward, and irritating it is when there's blood flowing out a girl's vagina all day long. It's like peeing all day, but with an enormous amount of pain. I've got 3 tips for you guys:
  • Be patient. A girl, no matter how "mature" she can be, is extra sensitive during her period. 
  • Be understanding. A girl can suddenly act like she has all the problems in the world but in reality, she's doing just fine. It's just the hormones; deal with it.
  • Give her food. There is a huge chance her appetite will grow before and during her period, so just give her an ice cream bucket. 

2. Insecurity: Other women (models, porn stars, celebrities, and most importantly, the EX)

© Google Images
I recently found out about how a girl could react to their guys checking out other women on Facebook, Instagram, Google and the likes. Stalking the ex is a different story.

Boys, you can't really blame us. If we ever catch you looking at pages with images of sexy, beautiful and perfect women, we will really lose our minds. These women: models, porn stars, and celebrities are perfect. They're not even human. They have the most beautiful eyes, long and straight legs, perfect hair, big boobs, small waists, huge ass, flat stomach with abs, and the perfect skin. Knowing that a guy is looking at such images (which is perfectly normal, I get it) is somehow an insult to most girls since normal human beings (such as myself) are flawed. We have huge arms, cellulites, big bellies, the list could just go on and on. We know we can never be that girl. It makes us feel like you look at these girls because of our imperfections.

Now, the ex. Well, a girl's mind is a very complicated mind. We know that things are over between you and your ex, but we still get jealous over them probably because of the fact that at one point in time, you liked/loved them. Again, why? Because we are insecure. We ask ourselves a lot of questions. "Is she prettier than me?", "Was she good in bed?", "Did his parents like her?" -- those things. 

My advice to men:

Just let her win the argument. Tell her what she wants to hear, but remain honest. As for the ex issue, remind her that if your ex was better, then you should have stayed with her instead. Give her the assurance that everything is over between you and your ex.

3. A girl's inability to honestly say what she feels.

This can be of different things: where to eat, to attend a party or not, answer the question "are you mad", or even allowing their boyfriends to go out. Girls, get your shit together. If you want your boyfriend to be honest with his feelings, you better do the same.

I've heard a lot of stories about this and it's really funny how deciding where to eat has become an issue to some couples. Girls, especially those who are pregnant or on their periods are fickle-minded when it comes to what they want to eat and it becomes really annoying for the guys...especially when hungry. As for the going out part, I remember allowing my ex to go to a bar with his friends and actually just piss him off the whole night. I don't know why I did it, but I know it's super ridiculous. I guess I should have just slept through the night or have kept myself busy with something.

Women's Issues

1. Video/Computer Games

Okay, so I've been here. I know how annoying it is to have to wait for your boyfriend to finish a video game. Then maturity hit.

Girls, we are all familiar with the line "boys and their toys". Just let them be. If you want to win the Best Girlfriend Award, let him play with his friends. Consider this as your spa or shopping date with your girlfriends. Boys need their time alone with their games. I don't know, but I think it gives them pride. If you're that cool, try to learn the game and play it with him. Don't suck at it though, you'll give him a headache if you suck.

© Photospin

2. BNO: Boys' Night Out

Okay, so I am also guilty of this. I wasn't a perfect girlfriend. But then I came to realize that not only does he need it, but that I also need it.

You have your girlfriends and he has his friends. If you need alone time with your girls - go on a spa, shopping, lunch out, tea time, salon day, sleepovers, or movie dates, he needs his time with his friends too. Don't take that away from him. 

The thing is, I think most girls have a hard time letting their guys go out because BNOs usually include alcohol. They may go out to bars or clubs and hang out with moderate to huge amount of alcohol and this is when a girl starts to have ludicrous thoughts. I guess most girls cannot move on from the fact that there is a bigger chance the guy will cheat when he's out wit his friends. Why? Let's say there's a group of 5 guys out in a bar. 3 of them are in a relationship, and 2 are single. The 2 single men might like someone from another table, and ask their friends to help them or start a small talk with the girls on the other table. Being "friends", of course they'll talk to the girls too. Then the 2 single men could tease the 3 other guys. I think it gives a guy some sort of pride to know that there is another girl interested in them. I think it makes them feel handsome. Most girls are afraid to trust because of many reasons. They have probably been cheated on before, or their girlfriend has gone through a bad relationship wherein her ex slept with the whole of Makati. You don't know.

As time has passed, especially at the present, I have come to understand how a couple still need time alone. I also learned that not all men have the tendency to cheat. Yes, guys can be one hell of a flirt when they're single, but once they find that girl, they become well behaved. Ladies, if your guy wants to go out with his friends, I think it's better if you let him go without a fight and mean it when you say "have fun" because it will make your men love you even more and feel like they're lucky to have someone who understands his needs. With this, you will also spare yourself of the lies they could actually commit if you become too controlling. 

3. Indifference

Just like our periods, we know that there are days when a guy simply acts indifferent. I'm not saying that they are indeed indifferent, but there are really days where a guy is "not in the mood" to show much affection to their girls or they simply fail to notice a girl's effort to make them smile.

One of the most common "indifferent" issues is how a girl goes to the salon, has her hair and nails done, shop for a new dress to wear for their monthsary date, and a guy fails to notice it, or say something about it. Guys who are reprimanded of this would usually tell their girls that they like their girlfriends more without makeup. Then again, explain why you keep on looking at those perfect girls on the internet. You can't blame a girl for putting up too much makeup for a date when your definition of beautiful and hot is Bar Refaeli or Megan Fox or Sasha Gray. We just really want to impress you.

Men and women of the Earth, we all have issues. Those issues I've written above aren't everything and may not be applicable to you, but they are to some/most people. They are the shallow ones, if I must say. I wrote this entry to remind you that there are bigger problems in this world. Death, poverty, corruption. I could go on and on. I know that emotional baggage is such a heavy one to carry everyday, but it's something you can control as long as you keep your eyes and mind open. For you to lose these things that hurt you, you must be able to understand the nature of your partner, and most of all accept that he/she is as flawed as you are. 


Personal: Risa Viva del Amore ( Live Love Laugh )

Thursday, December 4, 2014

If I were to assume I'd live until I am a hundred years old, then I've got one more year 'till I reach the first quarter of my life. Then again with the lifestyle that I have, I highly doubt I'd reach 85 years old - which gives me all the reason in the world to live to the fullest.

I know that my current status is not very impressive, but I know the road I am to pass through. I am caught up between getting a job temporarily, continue current mini businesses, or start a small business that could eat up my idle time. Believe me, you wouldn't wanna go inside my head. In my case, it's not as easy as it seems; and it's driving me nuts. "I know I am good for something, I just haven't found it yet." People around me usually make it harder for me 'cause it adds up to the pressure I already am giving to myself. I wish I could just post something on my forehead that says, "don't ask". It's hard to answer questions I don't know the answers to; and it's hard to take advices from people who don't know the whole story. 

I know that people usually prepare a list of resolutions every time there is a new year, but this time, I am considering my 24th year a new year. I have prepared a list of things for me to work on and I hope I get to stick to the list until I reach my 25th. Unfortunately, I cannot post the list here since I plan to make it personal so I could really put my heart into it. Don't worry, I'd post it by next year just to see if I stood up for my own words.

November 26, 1990 was the day I was born and I will forever be grateful for life. As mentioned above, my current status (career wise) is not impressive, I've had my share of heartbreaks, I've learned some lessons the hard(est) ways... but I am still grateful for life. I can honestly and sincerely say that I have never been this happy in my entire life. All the things that are happening to me right now, may they be good or bad, I know that they're just falling into places. I've always trusted God's plans for me and I have been given numerous signs that yes, I am in the right path. I guess I would just have to ask for patience and more wisdom for me to accept that not all people will understand me.

November 29, 2014 - Celebration with Friends

November 29, 2014 - Celebration with Friends
November 26, 2014 | Tagaytay with my parents

Late: Halloween Party

If I remember it correctly, we haven't had a Halloween Party before. We probably celebrated before, but only over a bottle of Gran Matador but never really dressed up. Personally, I was very excited for this party even if it was very impromptu because I desperately wanted to spend a lot of time with my friends and I am very grateful for this night.

Gracias por mostrarme las estrellas

Funky Friday

Fairmont Hotel & Raffles Suites, Makati

November 21, 2014
Checked in at Fairmont with my mother.

I loved the room even if it was small because even though we requested for a smoking room, it didn't smell bad at all. I loved our (smoking) room at The Manila Peninsula two weeks earlier, but the smell was horrible. I know we shouldn't even be smoking, but I was expecting the exhaust fans to do its job. Fortunately for Fairmont, since it's a relatively new hotel in Makati, the exhausts are doing a great job. Our smoking room smelled of clean laundry.

If there's one thing I anticipate whenever we check in at hotels, it's got to be the breakfast buffet. We stayed at Fairmont for two nights, so I had experienced two breakfasts. On the first day, I really enjoyed their Chicken Pork Adobo and my forever favorite scrambled egg with onions. I guess I had two plates of those, and a plate of waffle. My favorite part of their buffet would be the juice area. They have different fresh fruit juices and that is definitely an A for me. On the second day, I was so excited to see they had Corned Beef. I immediately grabbed a plate and got myself Corned Beef and again, my scrambled egg. When I was to get another plate of CB since it was really really good, it was gone and they replaced it with something  I am not familiar with. I mean, why?! Why would you replace your delicious Corned Beef with something that doesn't look like it's supposed to be served during breakfast?!

To sum it up, my breakfast experience was an A-. I still prefer Shangri-La hotels :)

Mi lovies from Nexus
While my mom was in a meeting, Kuya Ken and I had lunch and stayed at Starbucks for a while before checking in. After chilling for about an hour in the room, he dropped me off at Nexus. I was invited by the Sales AVP to attend his annual birthday celebration at Nexus. We call this beer bust. Beer bust, from the name itself, is a random Friday night where there is beer to bust. Free unlimited beer. I've always enjoyed attending beer busts before. Now, I enjoy seeing my friends, drinking free beer, and listening to crazy gossips.

Being inside the Nexus office feels like home to me somehow. (Yes, there is a part of me that regrets quitting, but the bigger part of me is still happy I did. Most of the legitimate reasons of my quitting cannot be posted here so I hope some people would stop judging my decision.) When I saw my (old) table, I still felt like the things there were mine even though there was not a single pink item. Passing through my boss' table, going to my big boss' office, my friends' tables, everything. They all feel the same. The Nexus people who have touched my life will always be a part of me no matter how far they are. Most of my friends live in the South so it's really hard to catch up. But seeing them and talking to them last Friday was piece of cake. I love them all dearly.

One more time, yes?

Unforgettable Week in Paradise

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

It took me quite a while to post this entry since it's really hard to put down my experience into words.

October 21

We booked our ticket when we found out about a promo so we can't really expect good seats/a good departure time. Our flight was at around 5:30PM (Manila to Kalibo). In Kalibo, we had to ride a van for 2 hours to get to the port where we are to ride a boat to Caticlan. I don't want to talk about the 2-hour van ride.

Boat to Caticlan

I forgot what time we arrived in Caticlan but I'm pretty sure it was late at night and there weren't enough "fun" activities for us so we just checked in, and went to the stations for late dinner.

October 22 - 25

The different activities offered by different Water Sports Companies were all tempting and fun but we only availed of the Parasailing, Parao (Sunset Sailing), FlyFish, and the Paddle Boarding. I was so happy I got to play volleyball too! I don't remember the last time I played. All other parts of the day was spent on the beach! Cool water + fine sand = perfect chill place.

At night, we'd either drink in our room or drink at the stations while listening to live bands. I never really admitted it to myself... but I really enjoy listening to live bands while drinking my beer and laughing with my friends. A little hookah is not bad too!

You didn't go to Boracay if you didn't get shakes from Jonah's Fruit Shake. I must say: I thought it was just a fad or something that most people to to just because it's famous. Their shakes are delish! I'm a fan of pineapple shakes (since I'm into sour drinks) so I ordered Pineapple Banana. It sounds weird, I know. But you should try it! We ate in different places for lunch and dinner every day and night but almost all the restaurants we ate at serve Filipino cuisine. 

I am a Starbucks person therefore I won't let anyone stop me from going to Starbucks Boracay. Okay, so my Iced Venti White Chocolate Mocha (Non-Fat, No Whip) tastes the same in Boracay, but the experience wasn't. Obviously, you're in Boracay. That's one. Two, since I/we always stay at smoking areas, we chose to go to the rooftop where I can drink my coffee under the freakin stars. Three, as part of their job description, the baristas speak different languages so they can communicate better with the foreigners. They can speak Korean, Spanish, Italian, French, and Chinese. They probably know more, but those are the only languages I heard.

My favorite part would be eating good food under the stars. It can never be replaced. It is number one in my heart. 

We stayed at Bambooze Hauz. Yes, I know. It is indeed spelled Hauz. It was far better than I expected. The room wasn't big but it was enough to fit four adults and it had a kitchen so we cooked our breakfast inside the room. We also cooked dinner on some nights. If you're concerned about the smell, just leave the door open while cooking.

Bambooze Hauz Hotel - Php 1,500 / night ( 4 adults )

This sums up my great week in Boracay.
Please watch the following videos.
The first video was made by Nika Peralta and I made the second one.


Another Much Needed Sweet Escape

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

I'm so happy September's over! Although I want time to slow down since I don't wanna hit November yet, I'm so excited for October! This month will be a very special month for me.

My friends and I have always wanted to go to Boracay altogether but this is the first time it's actually happening in real life. I can't wait to be with them and do such exciting things together. This will be one hell of a ride, I'm sure. I'm still working on my pocket money but I know it'll all be ready once the trip is due. 

As of now, we only have our tickets. Monica told me that we are to book our hotel some time past October 8 so the payment will be on November. I guess that sounds just right. Nevertheless, I won't mind which hotel/inn we're going to stay at. I'm sure we won't be spending time in the room anyways. 

Another thing I have to prepare for is my body. Well, it's October 1; and it's too late to work for that "beach body". I guess I just have to cut down my Starbucks, extra rice, and all unnecessary food intake so I could lose a few pounds before hitting the beach.

Oh my gosh, this entry has been nonsense. Excuse my excitement.

How about you? Any plans for the ber months yet? :)

The Life I Never Had

September 27, 2014 | Aracama

It was my girl, Nicole's birthday last Saturday and I must say, I did and didn't miss partying. I went there mainly to celebrate with her and my other girlfriends; not because I wanted to dance & flirt with guys just cause I'm free to do so. If I were to look for a boyfriend, clubs would be the last place I'd go to.

Having fun freely with my friends would actually be the life I never had. When I was in high school and my friends and I started partying, though I didn't have a boyfriend back then, the liberty felt different because I was underage and of course my parents didn't know I was drinking & smoking cigarettes. As stated in my previous entry, I had a boyfriend for 6 years and Lord knows how many celebrations I missed and parties I barely enjoyed. I guess the party I attended last Saturday was a party I very well deserved.

I arrived at The Fort Strip around 2300H, and I went around the parking area twice. Damn, that's why I hate that place! Anyway, I called out for help and good thing my friend knows this parking space nearby so I parked there. When I finally arrived at Aracama, I was very happy and excited to see Nikki, the birthday girl, and all my other girlfriends + a few boyfriends. As I expected, the music was loud, there was booze everywhere, and there were a lot (and I mean a lot) of people. I guess the only thing I hated about that night was the crowd which was too much to handle. Oh and another thing, I was pissed off someone that night. It's sort of dangerous for me to disclose whatever it is I hated about that person, but yeah. 

To sum it up, having fun with my friends with absolutely no worries is something I've always wanted. I think I'll be going single for quite some time ;)

Questions Towards the End

Monday, September 22, 2014
Created this in Photoshop
How do you really know when you are to end up with someone?
How do you really know when you should stop a relationship that's more of a habit than a real relationship?

Well, I don't have the right to speak for everybody, but I think I can speak for myself. This is a personal entry so it may not be as detailed as it should.

I just came out of a 6-year relationship. I can say that it was both amazing and toxic. If I jump into details, I might be judged and hated by some, even my ex. Let me keep everything simple.

We were friends before we got together. The friendship was good, very good, that you would assume that nothing could go wrong. At least that's what I thought. As years passed, just like in any relationship, we got to know a lot more about each other and I think that's when I can say that I found myself opting out of the relationship.

I am the type of person with a lot of faith. Faith in God and in people. In this public portal of mine, I'd have to say that there were a lot of people who didn't really want to see us together. Yes, and I'm sorry. The people who didn't want to see us together had different reasons and over the years, I tried to fight those reasons - I tried to disregard them because of love. Just as Patty Smith would sing it, "There's a danger in loving somebody too much. It's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust. There's a reason why people don't stay who they are. Baby sometimes, love just ain't enough." I've been into this song since I was in high school and it never really meant something until I reached the point where everything was falling apart.

Writing this entry took me awhile because I don't want you guys to get the impression that I'm perfect or that I never committed mistakes throughout the six years I was with him. In all honesty, I've made a lot of mistakes. Towards the end, I knew there were a lot of things that I should and shouldn't have done, but I just couldn't find the will to do because I was losing hope. My faith in him has fluctuated and I think this is the first time I didn't want to blame myself.

Well, since this is a private matter, I can't really divulge into details which makes this post rather gibberish, but I'd like to let it out since it's been choking me for over a month now. I also wrote this entry to once again explain myself that I have my reasons and I didn't just "throw everything away". Seriously, not that type of person and you should know that.

Over a Month of Whatever

Wednesday, August 13, 2014
© Compiled the words on Photoshop

I ended my Nexus career last June 30 and I don't think I've ever felt this relieved. Don't get me wrong, I loved working there for quite some time. I think I just reached the point where I realized that there are other things that I'm good at. Besides, I'm pretty sure they didn't need me there. There are other people who deserve that job more than I do.

So it's been over a month now and the words above are somehow the summary of how I've been. I cannot dig deeper for I won't be able to write sane things. Nevertheless, I think I can consider the past month as one of the most exciting months of my life.

Being unemployed and having weekends as my workdays is not really as easy as I thought it would be. There are really days where I have nothing to do. It's good that we have the fishball cart, but it's not enough. Given all my idle time, I can't really avoid to think about anything and everything. It's like I've been given a free retreat but with no supervision by the priests or nuns or retreat masters.

I once read that looking over your life and reflecting about the things you've done so far is a very important task. We often take a lot of things for granted and don't always notice that we're doing it. After a month of whatever, I feel like I've been blessed with time to actually see the things I've done wrong, see the things I've done right, and understand where I should go. Okay, so don't get me wrong. I fully understand everything that's happening to my life right now, and I even know how to fix some broken parts of it. But just as everybody else, I'm only human. Most people would say I'm strong; but most people don't know how I really feel inside. As a flawed human, I sometimes cannot put into words the thoughts and feelings I have inside. I tend to say things that don't really compliment to what I actually feel, so people can really say that I am strong. I don't really blame them if they think I am. Having said that, let me just remind you of a saying that we all know:

Everything is easier said than done.

Okay, so you can shoot right back at me. You can tell me, "Everything is easier said than done. Wanting something is easy. Saying something is easy. The challenge and the reward are in the doing." -- yes, I am fully aware of that too. But how do we really start the "doing" part?

I came across this very interesting quotation on Google, and allow me to share it to you.

As mentioned above, quote is from GOOGLE but I made this on PS

Then it hit me. Which one of the two has actually happened to you, that you started doing? That you started changing? If you ask me, I won't lie. I would go for number 2; that I've been hurt enough that I have to. If you're curious, yes. I believe I've changed. A lot.

If you know me personally, you would know the change that has occurred in me, but I don't know if you're gonna be happy about it or not. Again, some can say that I've finally become tenacious, some can be proud that I've learned to think about myself, some can say I've changed for the worse, and some can say I've changed into the person I used to hate. There will be a lot of words that will be coming out of different people. There will be a lot of unsupported opinions, but I think I have the right to say that it's  hard when you really haven't gone through the things I have and if you have, we are still different people. I will still insist that things are so much easier said than done. I understand that I may have to face more difficult situations if I don't start/stop, but I believe I still have a lot of discerning to do.


Why am I really wasting your time right now? Why am I writing this entry? Well, it's simple. If I were to be asked to compare myself to one thing, I'd say I'm crap. Yes, that's right. Shit. Defecation. Not that I'm smelly (oh dear God I hope not. I do not spend a long time in the bathroom cleaning myself just to smell like shit), but because I feel like shit. One day, I'm in someone's life, and then the next day just feel like he/she doesn't need me anymore so he/she decides to just get me out of his/her system. When the time comes that he/she feels very bloated, he/she will come begging for more shit but not really to keep it inside but once again, make him/her feel good. And then there's another side to it. I feel like shit for having treated some people differently just because I am realizing a lot of things.

s'il vous plaît aidez-moi savoir la bonne chose
je me sens quelque chose de si bon de faire les mauvaises choses

Fifty Seven & Counting

Friday, August 8, 2014
August 5, 2014
My dad's 57th birthday
Kainan sa Tabing Lawa, Tanay, Rizal

Yes, we drove all the way from QC to Tanay, Rizal just to be able to eat at this restaurant. We love this restaurant because their food is great. Their food is so great it makes us travel that far just for lunch. 

I am my daddy's favorite girl therefore when I suggested to drive to Tanay for his birthday lunch, he had no choice but say yes (well, it's not as if he didn't want to though). I'm happy I got to be with my dad on his birthday and I'm happy he has lived another year. May he have more birthdays to come!

We've been going to this place since I was a kid. Probably around the 90s. Personally, the only food I eat in this place is dalag. The food they serve are all damn good but I really just love the mudfish. 

Dalag / mudfish

A mudfish is a kind of fresh-water fish and is known for its delicious taste that is familiar with lapu-lapu and dalagang bukid ( source: Wikipedia )

iPhone 5S shot of one of the 5 dalags we ordered (this one's with egg! :D)

I'm disappointed I wasn't able to take photos of the whole restaurant. The next time I visit there, I'll make sure I have my camera with me and I'll take more photos so I can blog about it better.

Hardwork • Passion • Success

Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Made this with an iPhone app | Quote from Google | Added "Take the damn risk"

Over lunch, I was talking to a friend and our topic was all about life. Both of us shared life experiences and thinking about the things she shared now, I only have one line in my head:

The richest people are not employees.

Yeah, well. To whoever will disagree with me, I would really want to have a debate. Nevertheless, I think we all agree. If you search Google for Entrepreneurship quotes, you will see a quote that says, "60-80% of all new jobs come from small businesses". I will take every opportunity to be able to second the motion. If you come to think of it, starting your own business will not only benefit you - it will benefit those who are less fortunate. A simple small-time restaurant would probably have 10 employees at a minimum. That's 10 heads - 10 families you're feeding. Sure it puts a hell lot of pressure on you, but there is no doubt you're going to feel good about it. Here in the Philippines, a small sari-sari store would have at least one employee/helper. That is again, one head, one family. Although the salary is not as big as those of big companies, that is still considered as income. 

 My friend was telling me about a friend whose parents had to go through a lot just to be able to reach their current status. I'm sorry, but the only line I said was, "well it's a good thing his parents decided to start small-scale businesses rather than "work hard" as employees. I can just imagine what they went through - living days with no earnings, and on other days earning too much. It's really tricky; but they never gave up. It makes my inner goddess jump up and down with joy to know they're really doing well now.

Contrary to what I'm writing, my parents aren't businessmen/entrepreneurs. My dad is a professional, being a dentist. My mom is, well, retired. But she used to be someone big at a certain company. I don't know where this passion came from, but I'm pretty sure it got stronger when I entered college. As stated on my previous entries, I have lived a pretty luxurious life. Given that my parents aren't entrepreneurs at that rate, I can just imagine the life I can give to my children when I focus on the businesses I have in line.


To end this entry, here is a short story/interview of one entrepreneur I'm sure would inspire you in any way possible. Source:

As founder and chief shoe giver at TOMS, a retail company with a mission of social entrepreneurship -- Blake Mycoskie launched his company eight years ago intent on giving back. The premise of TOMS was simple: For every purchased pair of shoes another pair would be donated to children in need in 60 countries all over the world.  

The spirit of this trademarked "One for One" philosophy has informed how TOMS has grown, as the company added eyewear to their repertoire and moved into other ventures.
Last year, TOMS Marketplace was launched -- a digital hub that calls attention to similarly socially-minded companies and gives customers an opportunity to shop with a cause in mind.
And this spring, TOMS got into the coffee business, directly trading with the farmers that grow their beans and giving a week of clean water to the communities that need it most for every bag sold.
We caught up with Mycoskie, an award-winning serial entrepreneur, former Amazing Race competitor and the bestselling author of Start Something That Matters, to talk about always putting the customer first and the importance of following your passion, wherever it takes you.

Q: Knowing what you know now, what would you have done differently when you were first starting up?
A: I would have never decided to enter a business where only a handful of companies or customers can determine your fate.

Q: What do you think would have happened if you had had this knowledge then?
A: I wouldn't have tried to start a cable network [Reality Central in 2003]. I tried to start a reality TV cable network and ultimately failed, because we could not get necessary distribution on the big cable operator platforms.

Q: How do you think young entrepreneurs might benefit from this insight?
A: Even if you have the best idea in the world and tons of customers that want it, if there is a platform, channel, retailer that will get in between you and your customers, you could have a problem. If they love what you are doing, that's great, but if they don't, you have to figure out a way to get directly to the end user with your product and service. 

Q: Besides inventing a time machine, how would you have realized this wisdom sooner?
A: I would have read more business biographies.  The most successful entrepreneurs who write them are transparent about the mistakes they have made and what you can learn from them.

Q: What are you glad you didn’t know then that you know now? Why?
A: How hard it is to start a shoe business. How hard it is to build a business when you are committed to giving something away every time you sell something in a one-for-one manner, and lastly, how many red eye flights you would have to take to save money on hotel rooms!

Q: What is your best advice for aspiring entrepreneurs?
A: Focus on your passion. Nothing else matters.

-This interview was edited for clarity and brevity.

Let me repeat something in big, bold letters:

Focus on your passion. Nothing else matters.

Thoughts: Craft Coffee Revolution

Sunday, June 8, 2014

June 5, 2014

 You have probably read my other entry regarding Sunshine Slushie & Comedy Manila and it states there that I was there on the 4th of June. Funny how I couldn't get enough of their slushie.

I invited Pat to Craft because I wanted her to try the Sunshine Slushie and I also wanted to try the Strawberry Slushie my friend ordered the night before. It stands to reason that it was as good as I expected. More than the slushie, I remember Pat saying, "ang sarap talaga maupo dito" (it really feels good to sit here) more than twice. She said she's been wanting to chill at a place where she could stay for hours but be comfortable. Well, I must agree. For the past years, we've been staying in different milk tea places but I think that is about to change. Besides, since their slushies cost P95, it doesn't really make a big difference compared to ordering an P85 peso milk tea. Don't get me wrong, Craft is a coffee place and there are other stuff you could order there. Personally, I'm not just into sweets (cakes, etc) and pasta. I am a coffee person though, and I have yet to try their coffee.

Craft's location is also one thing that captured our hearts. We stayed outside so I could entertain my vice, but I think this is the first time Pat actually didn't mind. There were plants around us which made the ambiance relaxing, scientifically supposed to make the place cooler, and it was quiet. There was music, and of course other people chatting, but so what? It adds up to making this place be awesome. Besides, unlike the milk tea place we're currently visiting, the sound of the tricycle disturbs our conversations. Although in my case, I have to say I'm having difficulty parking my car. They have few slots and they share it with another establishment. The last time I was there, I parked on the street. The night before, even the street parking was full. That's probably the only thing I don't like. Nevertheless, I love Craft. ❤

My Personal Rating for Craft: ★★★★★

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