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The Right One to Trust

Friday, November 15, 2013

"You can simplify your life by learning to develop trust in God. Far too often, we don't allow ourselves to trust. Maybe your trust has been betrayed too many times in the past, or maybe you're just a very independent person. Even so, it's so critical to learn to trust God.

It's easy to get stressed out and run-down trying to make your life work on your own, but that never works. And God's plan is always better than your own. The person who trusts God knows that His way is best.

Now trust won't just magically happen. Trust grows as we take steps of faith and experience God's faithfulness. You have to tell your doubt, your fear, your insecurity, or maybe even your fierce independence to make way for a life of trusting in God. When you do that, you won't have to struggle so much to make your life work.

Trusting God brings a supernatural rest to our souls, allowing us to live simply and freely, the way He wants us to live. So even when it doesn't make sense, trust Him, and experience His freedom and rest.

Prayer Starter: God, Your ways are better than mine and I know that trusting in my own strength will get me nowhere. I place my trust in You. Even when it doesn't make sense to me, I choose to trust You, knowing You will make Your plans come to pass."

- Email from Tus Guevarra

Let me begin by saying what we all know - we all have trust issues. I know how easy it is to imagine living what is written above yet very hard to actually live it. Believe me, this works.

I am not the most religious person there is; but I am more than sure that I have my faith. My faith in God - it's probably stronger than my faith in anybody else. I've had my share of downs. I was hurt, betrayed, cheated on, name it. I've been there. What gets me through everything is my faith. Don't get me wrong. I still go through rough days. What I'm saying is that no matter how painful one experience is, I always believe that one day, I'll get over it and understand why it happened in the first place. Does it sound easy? I know it's not, but trust me on this one: trust Him and you'll know what I'm talking about.

I hope writing this entry does not make me a hypocrite, cause I believe I didn't mention anything that saves me from all the shit that life brings us. I just wanted to share this one and how I handle things that come to me and why my life seems perfect as others see it. 

Save Rock & Roll

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Fall Out Boy is my favorite band for so many reasons. Reasons I can't even explain, and reasons I cannot state in one entry. Pete Wentz was right - where is the band who is gonna stand up for the fuckin weirdos? Well, it's a good thing they saved rock and roll.

My lovely friend and I bought VIP tickets because we know it was gonna be worth it; and it was. During the front act (Typecast), there were four people in front of us. Four. When Fall Out Boy came out, the crowd went wild and even though I was inches away from my love (Patrick Stump), I had to give up the spot. People were so smelly, sweaty, and they kept on stepping on my feet. Lovely and I went to the back part, which wasn't really bad cause we're still in the VIP area, and Patrick was still close to me. It was actually a better place - we got to dance to their songs, sing without the fear of eating other people's sweat, and most of all, breathe.

August 8, 2013.
A night to remember.
Fall Out Boy, Save Rock & Roll. Thrilla in Manila.



Everyone goes through...

Monday, October 7, 2013

Everyone goes through...

  • Confusion. This may be about love, friendship, car, dress, shoes, cell phone, house, gender preference, work, food, etc. This time, I'm writing this because I'm confused with work. As previously stated, I'm staying in this company for the experience and knowledge. If I haven't stated it before, I'm 60% staying because of my friends; 40% staying because of my immediate boss. If it weren't for these people, I would definitely leave. I have no interest in information technology, and no interest in facing the people I hate.
  • Challenges. Well, this is cliche. This is given. This is obvious. This is overstated. I'm writing it again because I'm going through one, and I'm not sure I want to face this challenge. You know how your friends would tell you, "you can do it", "this too shall pass", "that's nothing"? Well, I know this is something that I could easily surpass and get over with, but for the record, this is something I don't want myself in. My blog is very public and I don't care if he ever comes across this site; but I wanna say that I don't like dealing with "smart" people who cannot accept their mistakes/shortcomings. I hate dealing with hypocrites who point out others' mistakes before realizing their own. I hate dealing with "managers" who think they could just step on other people just cause they're in position. No, I cannot tolerate that. Given that, I am seriously considering a lot of things.
  • Lack of faith. Well, yeah. I pray a lot. I pray on most parts of my day, but somehow because of the challenge I'm in, I see myself very distant from God and I don't like this feeling. Among the three I've written, this is the most important thing to me. Every time I go through something, God has always been the best solution and He has always been there to support me. I may not see Him, but I feel Him, and I recognize the "help" He's sending me. This time, because of my angst, resentment and anger, I've been seeing no light so far. This is bad, cause I normally care less knowing God has my back. Uhm, well, yeah. I know He has my back now, but I don't know why I feel like I hit rock bottom.
Okay, so why am I ranting again? As we all know, writing is a very good outlet of emotions. And yes, I want to remember this incident in the future. I want to read about it, and laugh about it. If you find this entry gibberish, then congratulations and thank you for wasting your time on it.

A Ticket to Wake Up

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Bragging aside, I believe that I am a very generous person and I thank my beloved mother for setting a good example. Oftentimes I actually think I'm being too generous (especially to loved ones) that I get to be tagged as mayabang. That's fine with me, cause I know that I just really like to share. A friend sent me this email a few months ago. This is like a newsletter and originally from Bo Sanchez. 

I haven't tithed yet, but I do know where all my blessings came from. I'm planning to start now. Tips, well, I have been doing that my whole life.

Please take time to read this.

The Story Of A Generous Business Partner
One day, a very wealthy man was walking on the road. Along the way, he saw a beggar on the sidewalk.
       The rich man looks kindly on the beggar and asked, “How did you become a beggar?”
       The beggar said, “Sir, I’ve been applying for a job for a year now but haven’t found any. You look like a rich man. Sir, if you’ll give me a job, I’ll stop begging.”
       The rich man smiled and said, “I want to help you. But I won’t give you a job. I’ll do something better. I want you to be my business partner. Let’s start a business together.”
       The beggar blinked hard. He didn’t understand what the older man was saying. “What do you mean, Sir?”
       “I own a rice plantation. You could sell my rice in the market. I’ll provide you the sacks of rice. I’ll pay the rent for the market stall. I’ll even give you food allowance everyday for the next 30 days. All you’ll have to do is sell my rice. And at the end of the month, as Business Partners, we’ll share in the profits.”
       Tears of joy rolled down his cheeks. “Oh Sir,” he said, “you’re a gift from Heaven. You’re the answer to my prayers. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He then paused and said, “Sir, how will we divide the profits? Do I keep 10% and you get the 90%? Do I keep 5% and you get the 95%? I’ll be happy with any arrangement.”
       The rich man shook his head and chuckled. “No, I want you to give me the 10%. And you keep the 90%.”
       For a moment, the beggar couldn’t speak. When he tried to speak, it was gibberish.   “Uh, gee, uh, wow, I mean, huh?” He couldn’t believe his ears. The deal was too preposterous.
The rich man laughed more loudly. He explained, “I don’t need the money, my friend. I’m already wealthy beyond what you can ever imagine. I want you to give me 10% of your profits so you grow in faithfulness and gratitude.”
The beggar knelt down before his benefactor and said, “Yes Sir, I will do as you say. Even now, I’m so grateful for what you’ve done for me!”
       And so that was what happened…
He Forgets Where The Blessings Came From
Each day, the beggar—now dressed a little bit better—operated a store selling rice in the market. He worked very hard. He woke up early in the morning and slept late at night. And sales were brisk, also because the rice was of good quality. And after 30 days, the profits were astounding.
       At the end of the month, as the ex-beggar was counting the money, and liking very much the feeling of money in his hands, an idea grew in his mind. He told himself, “Gee, why should I give 10% to my Business Partner? I didn’t see him the whole month! I was the one who was working day and night for this business. I did all this work! I deserve the 100% profits!”
       A few minutes later, the rich man was knocking on the door to collect his 10% of the profits. The ex-beggar opened the door and said, “You don’t deserve the 10%. I worked hard for this. I deserve all of it!” And he slammed the door.
       If you were his Business Partner, how would you feel?
       Friend, this is exactly what happens to us…
God Gave You Everything
       I’ve got an announcement to make: God is your Business Partner. And your Business Partner gave you everything. 
God gave you your life—every single moment, every single breath, every single second… God gave your talents—your ability to talk, to create, to earn money…   God gave you your body—your eyes, your ears, your mouth, your hands, your feet, your heart… God gave you your mind—your imagination, your emotions, your reasoning, your language…
       In the Old Testament, your Divine Business Partner only asks that you give 10% of your profits.
       But I’ve noticed that many don’t want to tithe. Because they feel they own everything they earn. 
Big mistake.
       Some Christians believe that they don’t need to tithe because it’s an Old Testament Law. They say that in the New Testament, God tells us to give as the Spirit of God leads us to give.
       I totally agree. But does that mean we should give less than the Old Testament? 
The story I gave you above is the Old Testament Version. 
Let me share with you my second version…
Do You Want Blessings To Flow?
       It’s easy to give once in a while.
       Even a selfish man can do that.
       But for happiness, life, blessings, and abundance to flow into your life, you need to give faithfully.
I visited Israel again last month.
And I visited the three bodies of water in Israel. All three are connected to each other. The first is the Sea of Galilee; the second is the Jordan river; and the third is the Dead Sea.
       Both the Sea of Galilee and the Jordan River are filled with fish. But the Dead Sea is called dead because there’s no living thing in it. No fish. No shrimp. No plants. Even some bacteria have a hard time living in it. Because it’s 8.6 times saltier than any ocean in the world.
       Why so?
Let me give you the difference between these three bodies of water. The Sea of Galilee gives water to the Jordan River. The Jordan River gives water to the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea gives water to… no one.
All that water that it receives gets trapped—and the only way the water escapes it is through evaporation, leaving all the chemicals and salt in the Dead Sea.
Here’s the lesson: If you don’t give, you die.

This time...

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I've finally considered the no rice diet. Last Monday, I went through the whole day with literally no rice and ended up feeling dizzy around late afternoon. I talked to my mom and searched for some facts and came up with a new diet plan: rice during breakfast and cereal all day. It's been a while since I've been feeling bad about my weight and I finally did something about it. I've been working out recently too and just this week, I started this diet. I'm looking forward to a lot of weight loss by the end of August. When November comes, I'm expecting for my old body to be back.

New World

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I was browsing through my photos and I saw this. This was a friend's 18th party; and I'm pretty sure you all know how crazy this night turned out to be.

I decided to blog about the different things I went through after graduating.

When I graduated, I had the easy life. I traveled with my best friend, I visited my dad's homeland, my family and I went to different tourist spots, etc. I didn't look for a job immediately because I really didn't need to. I kept on telling my mom (who was nagging me to open up another business) that I want to get a job first just so I'd be able to appreciate things more. You know, like what I always say on my blogs. 

Around this time last year, the HR personnel of our company texted me and asked if I wanted to go for an interview for Product Specialist. First thing I did was google the company and the position. Obviously, the interview went well and I started working a few weeks after. My first week was fine. I think the only thing that bothered me then was the early wake up time. I used to wake up around 10-11AM. When I started working, it had to be 5AM since I live far from Makati. Until all the different issues came.

  • Loss of time with boyfriend/friends -- this was a big deal to me cause as stated on my previous blogs, my boyfriend and I broke up. We were both culture-shocked with my new environment and he kind of needed to look for other things (lol)
  • Parties -- I was never really the type of person who go to parties every week. I see to it that I do at least twice a month but when I started working, I lost that chance. Since my body has already adjusted, I can go to parties once in a while again
  • Sleep -- Since I've been trying to joggle my time with my family, boyfriend, friends, social life, and work, I'm left with no sleep. Sometimes I just feel very high in the office because of lack of sleep. I try to sleep before midnight most of the time, but there are just so many things to do, so many people to talk to, and so many games to play (hihihi)
  • Money -- this is what I am proud of. Bragging aside, I don't really need the money I'm getting from my job. But since I get it twice in one month, I am, little by little, learning how to save up and appreciate money.
  • Appreciation -- Given that I grew up spoiled, I never really thought of the things my parents did for me. Maybe I did, it just so happened that I never understood what they were trying to say about getting the money they share with me. Now, I do. :)
Given all this, and if you add all my posts regarding my employment, I guess you could say I'm doing well. I want to be better than what I am now, and finally be able to open up the businesses I've been dreaming about. ☺

Dealing with the Real Life

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Hi, I'm on my 9th month at work and if you ask me how I'm doing, I'd say I'm probably doing fine. Just fine. Not exemplary, not that bad. I haven't reached my goal yet, and a few colleagues tell me it's normal for someone not to reach what I want to reach in the span of 9 months. But then again, I can't NOT compare myself to my mother who got promoted after 7 months. Understanding the scenario, I'm not as good as my mom, and I accept that. I'm squeezing my head out on days where I have nothing to do at work Why? Simply because I know that if I'm really "working hard", then I shouldn't have days where I have nothing to do. That makes sense, right?

I'm on the verge of breaking down right now cause I'm facing a huge problem. I don't know the consequences yet, but I'm already freaking out. I am dying to close deals, I am dying to reach my quota, and I am dying to excel. If I grade myself, I'd most likely give myself 70%. I know it's not as easy as I thought it was. I know my clients aren't as big as others; and I know that I don't have a lot of accounts yet. I have about 10, but I cannot force myself to visit them when they're not available or I have just visited them. I want to look for more accounts, but when I do, clients don't usually respond immediately. I don't know if I'm fit for the job or not even though I have been told that it fits me well. 

I'm blogging about this, no matter how embarrassing it is because I don't know how else to let all my emotions out. During the times I have nothing to do but stare at my emails, I always imagine how different my life would be now if I had just pursued starting a business and then I realized that...

...if I'm having so much trouble saving money, dealing with clients as such, being responsible with time, then I would most likely flush my business down again. I don't want that to happen. As long as I have not learned how hard it really is in the real life, I will not take the risk of starting another business. Some people don't really understand how it is to work. I'm very close to understanding it now, seriously. I have just started not receiving allowance from my mom this month, and I'm glad I won't be in the next months. I need to work with the money I get from work for me to appreciate this challenge.

My Dearest Lord,
Please guide me along the way.
Please do not leave me all alone.
I understand that this is just a phase, but I am humbly asking for strength and grace.
Thank you for not forgetting I need You by my side.

Thank You.

Employee VS Entrepreneur

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I graduated Bachelor of Science in Entrepreneurship and I left school without the intention of applying for a job. First, I didn't need to and second, I studied for four years to become an entrepreneur, not an employee. Throughout college, I learned the pros and cons of being an entrepreneur and it inspired me so much. But as we all know, starting a business is not a joke.

One of the most famous entrepreneurial stories is probably Henry Sy's way to the top. Henry Sy being one of the richest, we should always keep in mind that it is not as easy as they make it seem. The speakers I listened to whenever there are Entrep Talks in school inspired me as well. The activities such as fashion shows, entrep corners, Galleria, etc. all made me steps closer to being an entrepreneur. But there's something missing...

I am currently working for an IT Reseller company and this is way out of my league. To be honest, my first months were tragic. First, after being a bum for quite some time, I got culture-shocked with the schedule, and the loss of freedom made me lose time with Chuck and so we broke up. Second, are you kidding me? The only "techie" thing I can do is customize the html of my site. Other than that, there's Photoshop. But then again, you don't need to be techie to be able to perform that. Third, the pressure around me started to rise especially after my first evaluation. Around December last year, I actually made a pact to myself that if I don't enjoy even just a little bit, I'd resign. Then came my big boss' offer: some million peso worth quota. I was like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It was very hard for me to even understand what my products are and then I was given an annual quota. Then it hit me. My bosses probably saw something in me that I never saw. Whatever it is, I would never know... or maybe when I reach my quota? I don't know. But that's still it. They have faith in me. 

If you're wondering why I actually rooted for a job, it's simple. I was an irresponsible spoiled brat. Yes, I finally admitted I was a brat. Not to the point that I'm a pain-in-the-ass or something. I was semi-responsible when I was in college, okay. I wouldn't have been an officer for two years, one being an HR person and one being the General Manager; and I wouldn't have received a couple of "Student of the Month" awards if I wasn't responsible in a way. Maybe the perfect term would be: "not ready for the real life". Yes, that's it. I wasn't ready.

I, along with my brother, were given the chance to start up our own business as early as 2011. It wasn't just a buy-and-sell kind of business. It was a legit one, DTI and BIR registered. It was something I thought I wanted. A photography studio. Being the spoiled kid I was, nothing happened. I had the "business" buy me a high-end camera (better than my personal Canon 40D), a Macbook Pro, a bunch of gadgets I never thought I'd have, etc. We've had a few clients, and it paid well. Guess what, where's it now? It's probably flushed down the toilet. Long story short, I needed to learn the value of money and I wouldn't learn that from asking for money from my parents to start a business. I needed to work for the money to start my business. That's what I'm doing now.

I'm finally having fun at work and although the pressure is still on, I'm really enjoying every minute of it. There are times I get so stressed that my emotions just get mixed up and people around me get affected, but I am so proud of myself for turning into the person I am now. I still impulse-buy sometimes, but I can proudly say that I've learned how to control myself. I'm looking forward to more years with this company, and soon enough, looking forward to having my own business, out of my own money.

My First Express Way Try

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
About to pay the toll
January 11, 2013
This was our department's Kick Off thing. We had budget for a kick off thing because we won the best video thingy during our Christmas Party. The kick off was held in Laguna. I had the choice not to bring a car but I wanted to go home straight after so I decided to bring a car.

I haven't really tried driving at an express way. The farthest I have driven would be Makati. In college, Katipunan wasn't really a challenge. Driving along SLEX was fun but very unpredictable, especially with the rain. Everything was smooth, everything was fast. My first was very challenging cause I didn't have my dad beside me or the driver telling me what to do next. I've been driving for almost 6 years now but I'm still a panic driver. To my surprise, I enjoyed having 60kph as the minimum speed. Boo you, Commonwealth. It's so much fun driving with 60kph as the minimum!

To sum it up, I had fun. More road trips please?

My New World

Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I am five (5) months old at my job already and I don't think I have posted an entry involving my work friends. Sorry, I don't really like calling them my "work" friends. For the months I've been with this company, I have spent more than office hours with these people and I believe I found new true friends. Along with all the issues at work, they've stood by my side and have comforted me; and I to them. We have shared a lot about our personal lives already. Nobody is perfect, but we can always choose to be good. There are some people in the office who gave me the fear of looking at everyone in two ways. I have heard a lot of stories, but I don't always tend to believe until I experience them. I try to understand what runs through their heads when they do what they do, but all I want is for them to realize their own faults and change. 

Nevertheless, I thank these people for making my office life an awesome one.


Darren Analee


Darren Analee

Us girls

Nothing to do at the office

Patrisha Rose


Patrisha - my friend since high school, best friend since college, girlfriend since last year

With Lovely while hosting our company's Christmas Party 2012

Lovely, my co-host

Dancing the famous Gangnam thing after hosting

Ana B, girl crush

My first Beer Bust at the office

BK Date with Darren

My mom's pre-birthday gift to me at New World Hotel. That's Nelson, btw

Ending 2012

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Christmas has just ended, and I'd like to say my Christmas was okay.

I haven't blogged for the longest time because for the past months, I wasn't really doing well. Some days are happy, some days are sad. 2012 is probably the most complicated year of my life. I end 2012 with mixed emotions; but definitely thankful it has finally come to an end.

Early this year, I graduated college. When I received my diploma last March 24, I said this was gonna be a good year. I went to Korea with my best friend to celebrate our graduation and yet again, I said this was gonna be a good year. A few months after being a total bum, I went to a job interview. My first job interview, and I got the job. Not bad, isn't it? Then again, I said this was gonna be a good year. Just a few weeks after taking the job, I lost the man I love. It was such an excruciating experience, and I felt like I had to pay for all the good things that happened the whole year. After this, I told myself..."damn, this is such a fuckin year." To be honest, there were nights when I was happy he was gone, but there were more days and nights when I wished we never broke up. But for the three months we weren't together, he actually didn't stop texting. Apparently, he didn't stop making me feel loved. Last December 10, we got back together. A lot of people questioned my decision of taking him back after all he's done, but I don't think that's part of their damn business. Since we got back together, I had someone hate me so much. It's okay, I'll get by.







New Year's Eve was, as always, exciting. I posted a few of my favorite fireworks shots. I'm looking forward to a lot of good things this year. I have not made a list of my resolutions cause I have finally accepted the fact that I don't really stick to my resolutions. The only thing I can promise myself is to let go of all the pain and heartaches 2012 has brought to me and live my life the way I should.

Once again, Happy 2013 from me to you. Let there be peace on Earth!

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